Kudos

Your easy on the words, Mr. sly talker.
Sweet eyes that read your soul.
Heart warm to looks but cold to the touch.
I should have ran when I had the chance.
Im stuck now.
Standing with feet like cement.
Oh how you've done it for good.
You sneaky moon.

I Dont Fear Vampires. I Call My Fear a Vampire.

I dont like talking about myself. And I especially dont like talking about my feelings. But lately something has been wrong with me and I cant seem to figure it out. Im worried.

ps. my cat just ran into the bed, shook it off then ran away to play again. lol..oh Fatty

 I wish I could be like that. Whenever something hurts me, I could just shake it off and walk away.
But I guess its a good thing there is only one Fatty out there. (if you knew my cat, you'd understand)
Maybe I'm just ready to move away, or..run away. Maybe Im just pathetic. Or maybe this is what life is.
I'ts hard.
Im just swimming in the ocean.
Trying not to drown.
I wanna go back to high school..or even before that. Middle school. When I would spend all weekend at my best friends house and rollerblade, go to the creek, jump on the trampolene..or play pranks on her twin brother. NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD....oh the good ole days.
Now its all about whats to come. All about planning, and the future. Yuck.
Whatever happened to Now? oh its here just, hiding.
Lets see.. What am I doing Now?..
I just got home from practing for my show coming up..I expected to hop in bed but the dog, or should I say the Golden Child demolished the trash can and all that it contained. So that was my detour.
I feel like I just rambled on..and on....on...
Im tired.
so....tired..

I Need to Find My Woman Voice

They all want the same kind.
They all want something easy.
They all chase the wrong body, that body, that great, great body.
They all think the same thing..over..and over..and over.
They are all alike.

Im talking about guys. Sorry. But I only type whats on my mind at the present time.

I am waiting on that guy to prove me wrong. That man.
So far, I scare them away.
Friendzone...Tempter..thats what I get stuck as. Great.
Red hair, skinny jeans, artist, musician, tattoos..right..scary??
I've heard that people believe that some think that there are ones that are meant to be single..
...me?..ok ok im sounding desperate.  Im not.
Its just after getting hurt..time after time..you begin to wonder. You reach your breaking point.
Im standing on the crack.
Tears blur my eyes..baby..
I just wish someone would see me for who I am...and when they do they wouldnt run away..
I just think..wonder..wish..

Rearview Mirrors Don't Hold the Past.

Things aren't smooth anymore. Things are different, not better, just really different.
I work and then I come home. That's it.
My days move slowly sometimes..I get lucky if it goes by fast.
You broke my heart..but today I told someone that I would give you another chance.
I knew I was weird. Maybe someday someone will like my weirdness..ha.
You still make me smile....weirdly.
I've met other people..a boy..and I'm scared.
It's odd living in the same town, doing the same things..and we never meet.
It's like you didnt exsist.
Did you?....
I've emailed you, texted you...nothing.
Where you real??

Sooo... this is what goodbye feels like..

Goodnight  moon.
Run far way.
If you dont have time,
then here, take mine.
The mountain we've climbed is now in the distance.
You've run away with the spoon.
Thank you for your eyes.
Now I see the way you see.
So run away moon and be free.
Goodbye.
Moon.

I guess being an artist has it's downfalls

Look in the mirror.
I am beautiful.
But broken.
Beautifully broken.
A beautiful disaster.
To me, put me back together.
Not with glue. Glue doesn't last.
Not with love. Love doesn't exsist.
Watch myself fall. Let myself fall.
Down.
I'm down.
Alone.
Drowning.
I hit my head.
I'm hurting.
Feel the wind in my hair...It's all i can feel...
I don't want to be the artist anymore.
Let it be.
Let it be your turn to paint, to draw, to sing, to act, to break.
Let it be... you.
Sigh.
Not me.

Empty House Tonight

Empty house..
Time went by slow today.
Now I sit here, lost in my own thoughts,stuck in this hole of a town.
Sometimes I wish I could feel the Earth spinning.
Dizzy.
Loneliness is bittersweet.
The pancakes I made tonight didnt fill the hole thats inside my chest.
Maybe thats why I can't breathe.
Hmmm. I dont know though..They say life's too short, but my life has been taking forever.
All I want to be, is to be okay with Me.
I just want to be happy.