Rearview Mirrors Don't Hold the Past.

Things aren't smooth anymore. Things are different, not better, just really different.
I work and then I come home. That's it.
My days move slowly sometimes..I get lucky if it goes by fast.
You broke my heart..but today I told someone that I would give you another chance.
I knew I was weird. Maybe someday someone will like my weirdness..ha.
You still make me smile....weirdly.
I've met other people..a boy..and I'm scared.
It's odd living in the same town, doing the same things..and we never meet.
It's like you didnt exsist.
Did you?....
I've emailed you, texted you...nothing.
Where you real??

Sooo... this is what goodbye feels like..

Goodnight  moon.
Run far way.
If you dont have time,
then here, take mine.
The mountain we've climbed is now in the distance.
You've run away with the spoon.
Thank you for your eyes.
Now I see the way you see.
So run away moon and be free.
Goodbye.
Moon.

I guess being an artist has it's downfalls

Look in the mirror.
I am beautiful.
But broken.
Beautifully broken.
A beautiful disaster.
To me, put me back together.
Not with glue. Glue doesn't last.
Not with love. Love doesn't exsist.
Watch myself fall. Let myself fall.
Down.
I'm down.
Alone.
Drowning.
I hit my head.
I'm hurting.
Feel the wind in my hair...It's all i can feel...
I don't want to be the artist anymore.
Let it be.
Let it be your turn to paint, to draw, to sing, to act, to break.
Let it be... you.
Sigh.
Not me.

Empty House Tonight

Empty house..
Time went by slow today.
Now I sit here, lost in my own thoughts,stuck in this hole of a town.
Sometimes I wish I could feel the Earth spinning.
Dizzy.
Loneliness is bittersweet.
The pancakes I made tonight didnt fill the hole thats inside my chest.
Maybe thats why I can't breathe.
Hmmm. I dont know though..They say life's too short, but my life has been taking forever.
All I want to be, is to be okay with Me.
I just want to be happy.

Alice

I constantly find myself falling.
Not in any particular style or place. But just falling.
Its hard to explain....
But everytime I do I find myself getting right back up just to fall again.
It's become me.
Falling is who I am. Whether it's falling in love, falling for a lie, falling out of trees, falling in my dreams or in my mind.
 I am nothing but falling.
I don't necessarily fall anywhere.
I just fall.
I don't know what that means.
Who am I? What is falling anyways?...
Where is my rabbithole?....
......Where is my wonderland?...